Socially Anxious and Planning a Wedding? You’re So Not Alone (Here’s What to Do)
If the idea of walking down the aisle with every single pair of eyes on you makes you want to say “screw it” and elope instead? You are not alone. There are SO many socially anxious couples out there trying to navigate this exact situation
I recently came across a TikTok from a bride who said:
“Anytime I think about a moment where everyone’s eyes are on me- like being at the front during the ceremony or walking down the aisle, I’m like… cancel it. Just cancel the wedding.”
Oof. . I’ve heard this same feeling from so many brides who are sweet, excited, and deeply in love but the social part of weddings makes their whole nervous system want to short-circuit. As a socially anxious person myself, I feel this!!
If that’s you? Let’s take a deep breath together and talk about it.
There’s Nothing Wrong With You
Let’s get one thing clear first: feeling this way doesn’t mean you’re not cut out for a wedding. You’re a human being with feelings, boundaries, and a brain that wants to protect you from overwhelm. Your nervous system is doing its job!
Not everyone dreams of being the center of attention. Not everyone wants 100 people watching their every move, even when it’s something as meaningful as a vow or a first dance. That’s such a personal, intimate thing!
But guess what? You don’t have to follow a script that was never made for you.
So What Can You Do?
Here’s a huge thing to remember when it comes to weddings: there’s no “normal.” You can throw out anything that doesn’t feel like you and fill your day with things that do.
Some options I’ve seen that help socially anxious brides feel more grounded:
- Private vows before the ceremony (so you can speak from the heart without an audience)
- A smaller ceremony or elopement followed by a party later
- Short, sweet ceremonies – you don’t need 30 minutes of readings if it’s going to make you panic
- Walking down the aisle with your partner
- Opting out of a grand entrance or first dance
- Choosing a layout where people aren’t staring at you from one direction (yes, even ceremony setups can be tweaked!)
None of these make your day any less valid or meaningful. In fact, they make it more you. And that’s what makes it unforgettable.
You Deserve to Feel Safe, Not Just Photogenic
As a wedding photographer, I care way more about how you feel than how things look. Because when you feel safe, happy, and seen, that’s when the photos glow.
Your comfort is the number one priority and your joy is not a bonus.
You deserve a wedding that protects your peace instead of pushing you to perform.
You’re Still Allowed to Be Excited
It’s also okay if you’re both anxious and excited. If you’re dreaming of quiet moments with your person, a quiet dinner at your sweetheart table, and the honeymoon that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a gorgeous wedding day
You can feel giddy about marrying your favorite human and want to keep things low-key. You can love your people and not want to be the center of their attention for seven straight hours.
You can want a wedding and want it on your terms.
If You’re Anxious Right Now, Here’s Your Permission Slip
You’re allowed to change things. You’re allowed to opt out. You’re allowed to say, “Hey, I want this day to feel good not just look good.”
Let’s normalize weddings that your nervous system is a fan of.
Let’s build celebrations that feel safe and celebratory.
Let’s stop pretending every bride wants to be a princess and start embracing the ones who want to feel grounded, comfy, and calm instead.
Cause those weddings are perfect too.
I See You
To the bride googling “how to survive a wedding as an introvert”, I see you.
To the one who cried at the thought of everyone watching her dance, I see you.
To the one who wants to whisper vows, not shout them, I see you.
You’re a human in love, trying to do this in a way that feels good.
You got this!!!
If you’re looking for a photographer who can empathize, click here to get in touch!
